there was a trapeze. enough said
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
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Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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