I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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