Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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