Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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