Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
