Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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