Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
