I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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