I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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