Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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