I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
