All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
