So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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