win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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