I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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