I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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