PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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