Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
