I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
