I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
