But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
