you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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