Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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