someone threw a dead crab at me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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