Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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