She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
