He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
