So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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