planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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