I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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