Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.