That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
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Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty