Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (806)

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  (806): View more from Texas

  My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.

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  (806): My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do. http://tfl.nu/5eg0
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!

  (806): View more from Texas

  wasnt one 13?

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  (417): we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT! (806): wasnt one 13? http://tfl.nu/mo38
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (327) Bad night (4294)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  he shaved USA in his pubs

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  (806): he shaved USA in his pubs http://tfl.nu/vbz3
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  (806): View more from Texas

  So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.

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  (806): So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs. http://tfl.nu/g178
  Replies (36) Good night (3845) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...

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  (806): Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can... http://tfl.nu/qmq9
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.

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  (806): Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day. http://tfl.nu/6xwz
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  (806): View more from Texas

  my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

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  (806): my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar. http://tfl.nu/xuyq
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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  (806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.

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  (806): Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY. http://tfl.nu/w16e
  Replies (24) Good night (2469) Bad night (579)