It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi