Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.