You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.