Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.