IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.