just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains