I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers