Last Night in Hawaii (808)

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD

  (206): View more from Washington

  Or, you could have used a condom

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  nevermind....I'm on the way

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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