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no, he came in my armpit
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
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