I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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