All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.