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After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
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