I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.