Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?