Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow