YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.