I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.