I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
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Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.