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She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
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