why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?