If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.