They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.