U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.