Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Indiana (219)

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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  (219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98
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  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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  (219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did http://tfl.nu/cili
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  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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  (219): Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal. http://tfl.nu/m4sr
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  Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

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  You said that last year...

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  (260): Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate. (219): You said that last year... http://tfl.nu/7qlf
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  we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

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  you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

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  nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

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  (646): we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest.. (219): you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked. (646): nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us.. http://tfl.nu/wc73
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  Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.

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  (219): Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone. http://tfl.nu/2pnq
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  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
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  The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes

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  (219): The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes http://tfl.nu/ulxb
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  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
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  I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.

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  (219): I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls. http://tfl.nu/l75s
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  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
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  Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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  (219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won. http://tfl.nu/tu5d
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  shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs

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  (219): shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs http://tfl.nu/nfdh
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  I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.

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  (219): I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window. http://tfl.nu/kuhj
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  NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

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  wow.

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  (219): NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh (1-219): wow. http://tfl.nu/be02
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